September 28, 2024

Mandel Picks PSU Fifth in B10

Love him or hate him, Steward Mandel of The Athletic always has an opinion. Yesterday’s offering was a complete, predictive ranking for the 2024 Big Ten Football Season. Mandel ranked our Nittany Lions fifth in the conference, with a 6-3 conference record and a 9-3 overall record.

The first thing that sticks out in my mind with respect to his assessment of Penn State is that if all three losses are Big Ten opponents, he’s ignoring the potential for an opening day surprise at Morgantown. We all have our opinions, and our panel of experts here at The Turkey is split on whether the Lions will prevail in the opener. However, none of us believe that the Lions can do much more than show up at the Horseshoe, and one assumes that Mandel feels the same.

The Rest of the Big Ten

Stewie, not to be confused with the baby in animated sarcasm TV series “Family Guy,” ranked tOSU, Oregon, Iowa, and Michigan above PSU in the Big Ten/Eleven/Twelve/Fourteen/Eighteen. Penn State plays only one of those four, namely, the Schmuckeyes, who many are picking to vie for the (still somewhat mythical) National Championship yet again this year. So, Dr. Mandel, which are the other losses?

You wanna know who Mandel ranked sixth in the conference, just below our Nittany Lions? Surprise, surprise! He’s got Rutgers there with an identical 6-3 conference record, 8-4 overall. Fortunately, State cannot lose to the Scarlet Knights (who is scarlet?) this year, because they’re not on the schedule.

Next in the Mandelorian ranking are Wisconsin, Nebraska, Northwestern, and USC, all at 5-4 in the expanded conference. Stew must be counting on two PSU losses among that group, but because the two “N-words” are not on the schedule, that means losses to Wisconsin and USC at Camp Randall and the LA Memorial Colisseum, respectively. My readers tend to agree, except for the closet Sanguinarians who are predicting 11-1 and a playoff berth.

About Penn State, Mandel says, “James Franklin is cycling in yet another offensive coordinator to hopefully get more out of Drew Allar, but the pieces around him seem limited. You can always count on the Nittany Lions to field a stout defense. The three-game stretch of at USC, at Wisconsin and home against Ohio State will define the season.” Yeah, so Mandel thinks the defining stretch will be replete with three losses.

butbutbut… Who is at the Bottom?

The Bottom five, as Mandel sees them, consist of Indiana, Minnesota, Maryland, and UCLA, who he picks with 2-7 conference records, plus all alone at the bottom of the bottom Moo U. at 1-8. While the Nittany Lions are unlucky enough to automatically retain custodianship over the abominable Land Grant Trophy for another year by default (by de fault dat dey ain’t playin’ Moo U.), they are lucky enough to have scheduled three of Mandel’s other cellar-dwellers.

Mandel’s comments about the Pac-12 refugees other than Oregon are less than optimistic. We’ll see whether any surprises are in store, particularly at the Caucasian-Out game hosting the Huskies. Anyhow, Mandel’s is one man’s take on the Big Ten, and it’s as good or bad as the rest of ours, until it isn’t.

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